No Plan B

I don’t think that we ever can really plan for everything. Those of us like me who are worriers, we try a lot. The reality is that you can’t have a back up plan for every situation. I injured my knee at work about a month ago. Unfortunately, that means I’m dealing with Workmen’s Comp. It’s not a fun place to be. It’s taking them over a month to get an MRI scheduled, after the x-ray came back clean. In that month I am not being with managing large meant of stairs, hills, long times on my feed, kneeling, or squatting. Because of all this I haven’t been able to do nearly the amount to farm work I would like to do. All of this makes me sad. On top of not getting to do things I love to do, I have to deal with the fact that I am dealing with feelings of guilt, I’m not being able to do the same things, and having to rely on other people. Can any of us really have a plan for what to do if we have to go off our feet when it’s in a period of time? Many of us who are on on farms don’t think about that. In particular, homestead farms are small there are many of us that can pick up the pace. I am sad and I miss my farm work, and I feel like I can’t even trust myself. What if it’s only a little bit bad? What if my subconscious is the real problem? What if I can do more than I think and it’s all in my head? These thoughts are unhelpful, and most likely incorrect. This holiday season I’m going to be thankful, and try to focus on anything positive I can. I’m going to try to avoid the negative thinking, and I’m going to pray that this will get better, because over a month off my feet and the anguish caused by workman’s comp has got to have an end.

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